The first thing to remember is that it's perfectly okay to be confused. We all encounter situations where the path forward isn't clear. In these moments, the important thing is not to rush into a decision. Instead, draw upon the wisdom of patience.
As we explore in meditation, our bodies often hold insights if we take the time to tune in. Our minds have a tendency to race ahead into the future or replay the past, but our bodies are always in the present moment. A sense of unease or tension might indicate that a particular choice isn't right for you, while feelings of calm and expansiveness can point towards a more beneficial direction. This isn't about fixating on an object or sensation, but about opening your awareness to these signals.
Another part of this process is observing your motivations—getting a clear sense of what's driving your indecision. Is there fear, greed, attachment, or perhaps love or compassion? Being aware of these underlying emotions doesn't mean you have to act on them. But understanding them can give you clarity.
Remember, kindness without intelligence is not kind, and intelligence without kindness is not very smart - so approach each decision with both: kindness toward yourself and others, and intelligence in examining the situation, your feelings, and your needs.
And finally, try to cultivate acceptance for where you are in this moment. Freedom often emerges from radical acceptance. As you meditate and reflect on this decision, let yourself be with the uncertainty and confusion as it is. This too can be an opportunity for growth and learning. Keep faith in your ability to navigate life even when it seems confusing. Enriching direct experiences come from living through such times. Patience, openness, and acceptance will guide you towards the right decision in due time.
The sources below helped generate your response ...
- We may, for instance, believe fervently that
eating animals is ethically wrong. But what choice do we make
when our physician diagnoses us with anemia and tells us we should
eat red meat for our health? I have a friend in drought- stricken Cal-
ifornia who tries to monitor every drop of water she uses and wor -
ries over whether to let her daughter go to school in her favorite—
but
stained—
dress, or run the washing machine when she doesn’t have
038-68583_ch01_2P.indd 91 3/20/17 6:14 PM
hnhkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
— -1
—0
— +1
92 | R E A L L OV E
a full load. How do we know what’s right for us when
there are so
many gray areas, so many imperfect answers?
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
W HEN W E FEEL conflicted about a par
tic
u
lar decision or action,
our bodies often hold the answer—if we take the time to stop and
tune in. Our minds tend to race ahead into the future or replay the
past, but our bodies are always in the pres ent moment. A tightness
in the chest or a squeamish sensation in the gut may signal harm—
even when reason may suggest that a given choice is perfectly ethi -
cal. A feeling of calm or a sense of expansiveness throughout the
body sends us a very di ff er ent message.
Source: real_love.txt... - How do you decide what is right
for you? If you have a secret about an impor tant area of your life, how is
that affecting your relationship with others? With yourself ?
038-68583_ch01_2P.indd 97 3/20/17 6:14 PM
hnhkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
— -1
—0
— +1
038-68583_ch01_2P.indd 98 3/20/17 6:14 PM
hnhkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
-1—0—
+1—
SEC TION 2
038-68583_ch01_2P.indd 99 3/20/17 6:14 PM
P P
P P
L
hn
hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
— -1
—0
— +1
038-68583_ch01_2P.indd 100 3/20/17 6:14 PM
hnhkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
hn hkioilsySYekeh
-1—0—
+1—
I
H A D A DR EA M ONCE, and in it, someone asked me, “Why do
we love people?”
Still dreaming, I responded, “
Because they see us.” I woke up
thinking, That’s a really good answer.
t o see and be seen—
this very notion might fill us with an ex -
pansive sense of satisfaction and ease. We might feel joy at the pros -
pect of being affirmed because of who we are, rather than as a result
of any achievement or effort on our part.
Source: real_love.txt... - In either case, sit with the intention for a while before deciding whether or not to follow it through. Learn the feeling tone of the vast range of motivations that arise in the mind: love, greed, anger, compassion. Motivations reflect all that we can fear and can want and can love, so the various ways of experiencing them are manifold. The power of our awareness is such that we can open to all of these.
See what motivating force is strongest prior to an action, and explore it without judgment. Does it seem to have a nature that will incline the mind toward suffering, or toward the end of suffering? Toward contraction, attachment, or anger, or toward love, compassion, sympathetic joy, or equanimity? Notice that the decision to follow or not follow an intention into action is a separate and distinct moment from perceiving the nature of the intention itself. Notice that the more fully aware you are of the nature of the motivation, the more you truly have a choice as to whether to act upon it or not.
Making a commitment to following the five precepts allows us to fully acknowledge the range of motivations we see arising in ourselves, without fear that we will act on the negative ones mindlessly. Knowing we can direct our lives either toward complexity and suffering or toward lovingkindness and peace allows us to choose consciously, based on our own understanding.
Source: Lovingkindness.txt...